*Content Advisory

This guide includes expressions of sympathy for many kinds of loss, including sensitive topics such as miscarriage, sudden death, and suicide.

Struggling to Find the Right Words? How to Express Sympathy When You Don’t Know What to Say

When someone you care about is grieving, finding the right words can feel incredibly difficult. You want them to know you're thinking of them, but it's easy to worry about saying the wrong thing - or to find yourself not knowing what to say at all.

The truth is, your words don't need to be perfect. A simple, heartfelt message can offer comfort and remind someone that they're not alone.

The Challenge of Expressing Sympathy

If you’ve ever sat down to write a sympathy card and found yourself staring at the blank page, you're not alone. When someone is grieving, it can be difficult to know what to say - particularly when your care deeply and don't want to say the wrong thing.

Sometimes that uncertainty means we say nothing at all. But you're words don't need to be perfect, simply letting someone know they're in your thoughts can mean more than you realise.

Simple, Thoughtful Ways to Offer Comfort

A sympathy message doesn't need to be long or beautifully written. A few genuine words that acknowledge their loss and let them know you're thinking of them can be enough.

Here are a some expressions of sympathy for different types of loss that you can use as they are, or make your own."

"I am so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you and sending you so much love."
"Thinking of you and wishing you moments of peace and comfort as you remember [name]."
"I hope the love and memories you shared bring with (name) bring you comfort in the days ahead."
"There really are no words. Please know I’m holding you in my heart and sending you all my love."
"I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. If here for you in whatever way you need."
"Sending you love and strength as you find your way through this incredibly difficult time."
"I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I want you to know I’m here -to listen, to help, or simply to sit beside you."

For Miscarriage or the Loss of a Baby

The loss of a baby can be incredibly difficult to put into words. You don't need to try to make sense of their loss or find something profound to say. Simply acknowledging their baby and letting them know you're thin king of them can mean so much.

"I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby. I'm thinking of you and sending you so much love"
"There are no words for what you're going through. I'm holding you and your little one in my heart."
"Your baby was already so loved and will always be a part of your family. I'm so deeply sorry."
"I wish I could take some of this pain from you. I'm here for you in whatever way you need."

For the Loss of a Child

There are few words that feel enough when someone has lost a child. You don't need to try to ease their grief or make sense of what has happened. Acknowledging their child, using their name where you can, and simply letting them know your'e there can mean so much.

"I'm so deeply sorry for the loss of (name). I'm thinking of you and your family and sending you so much love."
"There simply are no words. (name) was so deeply loved and will always be remembered."
"My heart breaks for you. I'm here for you - to listen, to help, or simply to be beside you."
"thinking of beautiful (name) and holding you and your family close in my heart."

When Someone Has Lost a loved one to Suicide

Losing someone to suicide can leave those who loved them with so much to process, and knowing what to say can feel especially difficult. You don't need to have the answers. A simple message acknowledging their loss and letting them know you're there can offer comfort.

"I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I’m thinking of you and sending you so much love"
"There are no words that feel enough. Please know I'm thinking of you and I'm here whenever you need me."
"I can’t imagine what you're going through. I'm here to listen, to help, or simply to be with you."
"Thinking of you and (name), and holding you close in my heart."

When Someone Has Experienced a Sudden Loss

A sudden loss can leave you wondering what you could possibly say. You don't need to find the perfect words - simply letting them know you're thinking of them can mean a great deal.

"I'm so sorry I can’t imagine the shock you must be feeling. I'm thinking of you and sending you so much love."
"I'm so deeply sorry for your sudden loss. I'm here for you in whatever way you need."
"There simply are no words. I'm thinking of you and (name) and holding you close in my heart."
"I wish I could take some of this pain from you. I'm here to listen, help, or simply be beside you."

When Someone Has Lost a Loved One After a Long Illness

When someone has been unwell for a long time, their death may have been expected, but that doesn't make the loss any less significant. A few simple words can acknowledge both the person who has died and those who have been beside them through their illness.

"I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how much you loved and cared for [name]. I'm thinking of you and sending you so much love."
"I'm so sorry to hear about (name) I know it's been a long and difficult time. I'm thinking of you and your family."
"Thinking of you as you say goodbye to (name). I hope the memories you shared bring you comfort in the days ahead."
"Even when you know the time may be coming, saying goodbye is never easy. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm here for you."

Tips for Writing Your Own Sympathy Message

If you’d like to make your message more personal, a few simple things can help:

Acknowledge their loss: If it feels right, use the person's name. It can make your message feel more personal.
Offer Support: Let them know you're thinking of them or that you're there if they need you.
Keep It Simple: You don't need to find the perfect words. Sometimes “I’m so sorry for your loss” really is enough.
Share a Memory: If you knew the person who died, sharing a favourite memory or something you loved about them can be incredibly meaningful.

A Meaningful Way to Show You Care

Sometimes you want to offer something alongside your words - a gesture that lets someone know they're being thought of and gives them something meaningful to hold onto.

Our Cherished In Loving Memory Candle was created especially for times of loss, with carefully selected crystals and a guided grief meditation to offer a quiet moment of remembrance and connection.

Discover the Cherished In Loving Memory Candle

If you're looking for another way to show you care, you can also explore our collection of sympathy gifts.

Finding Further Support

Grief can feel incredibly heavy, and sometimes more support is needed thatn friends and family can provide. These New Zealand organisations offer information and support for people experiencing loss and bereavement:

Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand – Suicide Bereavement Support: Provides information and support for individuals and families affected by suicide. Mental Health Foundation
Skylight Trust: Offers support for children, young people, and their families experiencing change, loss, and grief. Skylight
Grief Centre: Provides loss and grief support to anyone experiencing a significant or difficult life situation. Grief Centre

Australia:
StandBy Support After Suicide: Offers nationwide support services to those bereaved or impacted by suicide. Stand by Support
Lifeline Australia – Bereaved by Suicide: Provides information and support for individuals and families affected by suicide. Lifeline